My 5 year old daughter informed me last week that she would be going to the moon for a field trip, and because she loved me I could come along. Needless to say I was thrilled, after all how often does a child want their parent hanging around for something? With a 12 year old and an 8 year old, I treasure every minute I have with my kids – they grow up way too fast if you are not careful.
So, off we went on a rocket to the planetarium. I was “Haadia’s Mom” and in charge of 5 wonderful kids – Haadia my daughter who made the big yellow magic school bus a rocket, Jennifer who tried to teach me Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star in Chinese, Toufoumi who is going to teach me Yoruba, Anik who wanted to see the big dipper for real, Rehmat who waved goodbye on our way downtown to every single thing, person, animal and building. We just had so much fun and learned that the sky all around the world is the same! Amazing.
This got me to thinking about my life. My mom is a physician, my dad a business-man and I grew up with both working. We had a live in nanny, who cooked and loved us as one of her own. I thankfully have the luxury of being able to stay home with my kids. When my son was two we moved to Karachi, Pakistan and I stayed home with all three of my kids. I worked occasionally but had plenty of help at home in the form of my Mother in law, and servants. It was great, I would come home and had time to spend with the kids.
We just moved to Winnipeg, Canada and I have elected to stay home, at least till the kids are a couple of years older. Occasionally, I miss my promising career as an architect. But on days like the field trip I am reminded why I stay home and that I really do love doing stuff with my kids. Growing up part of the Generation X gang, my values and expectations from life and myself are very different from my parents I think.
I am happy with myself and do what I enjoy. I do not feel that my duty is to sacrifice for others, I will help people, I will even go out of my way to help others, but not at the cost of my family. Respect should be earned, not given because someone has money, a title or fame. Loyalty is to family and friends, the team I work with, the company I work for, but to the point where my family is not sacrificed. Performance counts, not who you are related to and the underlying value time is more important than money.
Time spent with family and friends. Time spent nurturing relationships. Time spent gaining knowledge and acquiring new skills. I choose to spend my time the way I see fit – dictated by no one.
Our Greatest Fear —Marianne Williamson
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other
people won’t feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of
God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.