I am now a respectable stay at home mom who knows how to fluff and fold, I know not to mix colours (of course only last week my teenage son had to wear pink socks to school and he had gym!), I know what needs to be line dried and things that actually don’t need to be washed (that shirt was my husband’s fault, it now fits my 6 year old – recycle everything they say). What! Dirty clothes that do not need to be washed, there is a secret?
Yes, and because I have been there, where you are inundated by laundry (dirty), folding, dirty dishes and cooking all on the day you just had your nails done, I have a few tips that I perfected over 5 years at Architecture school. They all work, and no one knows the difference!
1. If you have stinky but not dirty clothes, just line dry them in the sun (or if sunlight is not available put on hangers near the furnace),spray them with perfume and you are done! Washed, dried, fluffed and already on hangers ready for the closet.
2. If the stinky clothes are really stinky, like 3 hours at the gym without air conditioning stinky, just toss in the dryer with extra softner. People will ask you why your laundry smells so divine – I kid you not.
3. Avoid white clothes at all costs, but if you do get a stain on them, do not panic. Pick a shirt that runs colour, soak both in very hot water, and 30 minutes later throw them in the dryer with extra softner. Voila! you have a new exclusive shirt, that was white but now is a custom dyed colour. One of a kind for free.
5. You have friends, this is when they come in handy – so what you do is divide your items of clothing with the number of friends you have. So say you need to wash 30 things and you have 10 friends, that means you sneak (innocently) 3 things into each person’s laundry basket and shazam laundry done! For this to work, you need to find a different set of friends each month, and cycle only three times a year.
6. Elemer’s or white glue is magic. If you get a stain, smear whatever, put a blob of elemer’s on it. No need to wash, the stain is preserved and eventually it will look like a work of art, an original piece of clothing you paid to have look the way it does. And yes, people will ask you where you bought it from, you just give them yours for $20 and buy yourself a new one.
If you follow these handy, cannot fail tips, you will never have to do laundry again. Now that I am a mom, I am espousing the virtues and excitement that doing laundry brings, thankfully my girls (6 and 9) think it is a fun way to spend an afternoon, so they are Laundry Queens. They even have a crown. However all good things must come to an end, so when they noticed (I think it was brought to their notice by their father) that I was not ‘supervising’ the wash, fold procedure they rebelled after only one afternoon. I am now on the look out for new victims, ummm, trainees for my world renowned laundry program. Please send me an email to sign up.