Getting rich quick is everyone’s dream…
Being in a cast for a month you get a lot of time to ponder. And pondering I am. Because I am a generous soul, I will share my top 10 get rich quick schemes with the world. Now you might think these are crazy, but they are well thought out, planned after tonnes of Starbucks, alone time to ponder and most important of all – nowhere to go due to a CAST on my leg.
Most of my schemes are ingenious, I stumbled across them accidentally and so they are original and unique. No one has anything similar – yes they are truly groundbreaking.
1. A house fly flew down my cast the other day. Now most people would think this is a disaster and yucky. They might think they will end up with a skin infection if they don’t get the fly out. But not me, no I turn this into an opportunity to get rich. How? Well, we all learnt in 7th grade science that oil is made when plants and animals decompose in the presence of heat and pressure. Voila, stuff houseflies in your cast, heat ad pressure will make the oil- you are destined for riches. I would not recommend ants.
2. This past month my kids have become well trained in cleaning, heating food, doing the laundry and other chores around the house. Most parents would see this as, “Oh my kids are working so hard, they are such good kids.” Yes, but why state the obvious, you can only get rich quick if you think outside the proverbial box. Create and ad campaign (very easy to do these days) hiring your 13, 9 and 6 year olds to do chores for an exorbitant amount. Why would parents hire them? To teach their own kids a lesson, the best lessons are taught by example – so others kids do all the chores while mom sits around – you can too. Riches will be knocking on your door.
3. Being on crutches is an eye opening experience. When you go to get coffee, people will open the door for you, they will pull out a chair and bring the coffee to your table ‘in case you spill it’. I say ‘when in doubt spill the coffee’. Well, you do that and the entire cafe is silent. I mean it. Not a sound, all eyes on you, waiting, watching…now is the time to be ingenious, pretend it is your mistake, try to stand, take your time. Immediately the manager will come and offer you free coffee for life. Hesitate, he will add a sandwich, and any thing else you could want. Perfect. Now you go in everyday, get your free treats, sell them at half price and continue for the rest of the day. Yup, you are getting rich in no time.
4. Parents I see are usually confused about how to answer embarrassing questions their kids ask. I have all kinds of such questions my kids insist I answer, like:
- “Mom, why is there only one Smurfette and 98 Smurfs?”
- “Mom, how come Anna has two mommies?”
- “Mom, you cleaned me with wet wipes when I wore diapers, now you use them too (as my leg is in a cast), does that mean you wear diapers?”
- “Mom, why do you close the bedroom door at night but ask us to keep ours open?”
- “Mom, if I put toothpaste on my teeth before going to bed, I will not have to brush them right?”
- “Mom, why don’t we ask Dad these questions?”
- “Mom, cookies are made from eggs and flour, so is bread so why are cookies not healthful?”
And the list is endless. All you have to do is offer a toll free hotline to help mommies in need. I guarantee you will see the money rolling in. Get on the net now and get a domain name for your embarrassing question answer site. Just do it.
5. Compile a list of how to get rich quick schemes, have people try them out and split the proceeds. The ideas must be original and please no lying, cheating, deception or tricks. Honesty is the best policy.
Please no need to thank me for my ideas. All I will require is 50% of the profit you make using my no fail schemes. If you are laughing right now, just think about the time you are wasting not working on the ideas above. You do want to get rich quick right? Meanwhile I have a housefly down my cast, it’s been 3 days. I am well on my way to riches…